Road Trip by Marvin Thompson

Author:Marvin Thompson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Peepal Tree Press

THE WEIGHT OF THE NIGHT

1. After the Stag Do

As the evening dims, Lisa stares out of your white-tiled kitchen. June rain is drumming the conservatory roof. You fix your eyes on your cornflakes, scared that if you talk, your secret will pour out of you. Last night, as you danced, you felt something akin to a spiritual joy. You wish those moments were now. You spoon and peer at your cereal. Lisa asks, ‘Apart from you downing a skinful, what else happened?’ You don’t want to reply but the question hangs. Silence: it’s as though your words are stones in your throat and your blood is jittering. ‘I did something bad,’ you tell Lisa and look out at the downpour. Lisa’s face is a mix of love and fear. Your wet tabby paws at the window. Lisa lets him in, and sits next to you. Her perfume is a soft wall between you. You look at the sink then stutter: ‘Once, when I was younger, I had sex without proper consent.’ Somewhere, rain pounds a prison courtyard. ‘Not funny,’ Lisa says. As she speaks, a spot of her spit lands on your trembling lip. She lets out a chuckle: ‘Two weeks before our wedding? Are you trying to…’ From her chair, she steps backwards, reading the despair on your face. As her eyes moisten, you imagine the first raindrop that starts a monsoon that leads to mothers lying on roadsides. ‘It was my ex, Sara,’ you say. In the conservatory, the cat rolls one of its toys – a ball with a bell. ‘You should phone her.’ ‘She’d hang up.’ With her back against the fridge, Lisa’s eyes sear into your face. You try to explain: ‘At night,’ you say, staring at your bowl, ‘Sara and I had a regular game. She’d pretend to be asleep while I woke her up by… And… one night, when she turned round, she didn’t smile. She looked alarmed. I told myself she was acting. We never talked about it.’ The rain slows. Out of the silence, Lisa says, ‘Find her on Facebook. Message her. I need to know that she forgives you.’

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